should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
