He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
