She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
