Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
