I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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