North Korea, Best Korea!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
