we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
