mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
