Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize