Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
