Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
