i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
