I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
