..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
