I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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