I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
