I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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