i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
