Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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