peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
