My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
