wrigley field is MILF paradise
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
