Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
