I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize