At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
