Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
