You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
