Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
