I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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