my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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