thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
