tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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