It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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