you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize