im gay
i know
yea but for you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
