Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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