have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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