Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
