i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
