can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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