walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
