I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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