If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
