I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize