shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
