i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
