Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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