please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
