Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
