I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
