i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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