He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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