That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
