I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
