FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
