I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
