First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
