I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
