All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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