she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
