Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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