im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
