I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
