just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
